Kaelin Viera ’27
The Umbrella, the Siren, and the Hand: Trauma and Response in Zambrano’s Loteria
Trauma affects different people in distinct ways and children are no exception. How one deals with trauma and whether or not one has people to guide them through it is crucial to their ongoing development. In Loteria, by Mario Alberto Zambrano, the author compartmentalizes the various aspects of trauma by designating a seemingly random Loteria card to each chapter. The entire novel is told through the perspective of a young girl, Luz, who is coming to terms with her familial abuse and deciding how she wants to move forward. The prompts from the Mexican card game serve as an outlet for her expression, as she divulges the details of her abuse and other anecdotes from her life that reveal how she is evolving. In Zambrano’s Loteria, the author uses the card game of the same name to illustrate that abuse without support guarantees a struggle to cope, a desire for freedom, and a sentiment of shame.
In the chapter “El Paragua,” the image of the umbrella conveys Luz’s inclination to hide from her trauma and blame herself. In the vignette, Luz recalls a memory from the past and connects it to her present inability to address her circumstances. At seven years old, she would sneak out when it was raining, without hesitation or the proper attire. While perhaps cathartic, the lack of recognition from Luz’s parents that their child was missing in the first place is concerning. The mother’s realization that Luz snuck out and swore at her sister results in what Luz calls “the first time Mom ever hit me,” (Zambrano 50). In shock, Luz runs back out into the rain, alone. She does so without symbolic or parental protection: an umbrella (“un paragua”) or a guardian. This unhealthy coping mechanism does not permit Luz to locate the source of her abuse: the perpetrators of trauma. Instead, her childish innocence makes her confused about why she is being punished in the flashback and fosters self-hatred in the present. Luz states, “Because if I didn’t have fingers or hands maybe none of this would’ve ever happened,” (Zambrano 51). In saying this, Luz effectively blames herself for her trauma, likely referencing the sexual abuse involving her hand inflicted by her cousin Memo. If Luz had a parent who always knew her whereabouts and cared to run after her and protect her as an umbrella should, she would be able to perceive that the harm done to her is not her fault.
Not only does Luz wish to hide from her problems in the rain, but to be fully submerged in them as a means to freedom. In “La Sirena,” Zambrano’s use of mermaid, or siren, imagery shows Luz’s attempt to find herself again, no matter how dangerous. Reflecting on the card itself, Luz describes a desire to be “la sirena.” She says, “Not because she was pretty or grown-up but because wherever she lived nothing and no one could touch her and she could swim wherever she wanted,” (Zambrano 77). Luz’s emphasis on the lack of a permanent residence here speaks to her uncertainty about her living situation going forward. At present, she is living in the custody of the state, not with her family. She is unsure about her living situation going forward, thus she uses this fantasy as an escape where she is in control of what happens to her.
Furthermore, she wants to be alone where “no one could touch her,” a want that stems from her physical abuse. The adults in her life are not reliable, therefore this dream of isolation is important to her. Luz recalls yet another memory from the past, where she attempted to live out this dream by wrapping towels around her legs and swimming in the pool by herself, while her family was not home. She says she would do this “not knowing if I was crying or not because I was underwater, and I’d dare myself to stay there as long as I could,” (Zambrano 78). Once again, Luz displays evidence of unhealthy tendencies, though she does not proclaim them as such. In this section, she is home alone as she wishes, though her young age and potentially dangerous behaviors suggest she should not be. Luz is unable to recount these anecdotes, such as the “dare,” to anyone but herself. Already, she is exhibiting the detrimental effects of her trauma–one must remember she is not a mermaid, but a naive child–and the lack of support to process her emotions only limits her freedom in the present.
Despite feeling feigned freedom, Zambrano insists that thoughts following trauma always lead back to the thing itself: the hand, in this case. In “La Mano,” Luz’s resounding self-consciousness about her body indicates the shame both she and her father feel inside. Her fingernails are black from working on the house, which goes unnoticed by the family. Luz tries to wash her hands but feels immediately overshadowed by Estrella, who says only she is washing her hands “right.” Luz’s frustration from her sister’s comparative perfection culminates in her cursing out and pulling Estrella’s hair. Her violent tendencies become increasingly apparent, no doubt indirectly caused by observing her own parents. Inevitably, the girls’ father punishes Luz for speaking out of term but does not directly hit her. Instead, Zambrano writes, “He pulled his arm back and lifted his eyebrows and slapped the belt against his hand as hard as he could, and I let out a yelp to make it seem as though he were hitting me,” (Zambrano 173). Luz and her father share a complicated relationship. Upon learning about her sexual assault, he broke her hand. Here, however, her father expresses guilt over his actions. Similar to Luz, he blames himself for the trauma she’s had to endure. This feigned abuse of Luz allows both characters to recognize what has happened to her. She almost has his support because he does not directly hit her, but ultimately the act of seeing her father endure abuse at his own hand only makes Luz feel worse.
Zambrano’s selected format of the shuffled Loteria deck is authentic to his protagonist in that it expresses her unique way of processing trauma. In most chapters, Luz lacks the support and protection of her parents, leading her to deal with her abuse in unhealthy, though understandable, ways. The card visuals at the start of her retellings prompt reflection for the character and reader alike. Luz lacks the umbrella, wishes to be the siren, and must face the reality of the hand and what it means. In constructing his novel this way, Zambrano asks the reader to consider the process of overcoming trauma is never linear, but the lack of a support system can further destabilize one’s path to recovery.
Work Cited
Zambrano, Mario Alberto. Loteria: A Novel. HarperCollins Publishers, 2021.